the munny and the hunny... thoughts and rhetorics of the addicting kind

It’s not as if I’m hoping that a relationship would prosper, but earlier on, as I was talking to this entity, I was seriously debating in my head that this person’s really, I dunno- starting to get cute??? Er, these days I have been an easy target of sexual predators. Nope, not that I’m so vavavoom sexy that would leave any guy with a drool pool…let’s just say I entertain and indulge.

It was a Thursday when it first happened. Quite a shock even because I didn’t think that this person was up for it. I really thought that it was all talk no bite. I’m even more surprised at myself. I didn’t see it coming and I really didn’t want it to happen because I might never be able to look at that person the same way again.

The person wanted a call from me. But I had to restrain myself before it could lead to anything more embarrassing than it already is.

Makes me think of Island Boy even more…sad, sad. Well he excused his absence for the next few weeks. He even said that he won’t get mad if I’d find me an immediate replacement to which I said he was too crazy to even think.

On a lighter and much happier and welcome note, I am furthering my shopping addiction by giving in to the call of the Dorothy Perkins/Topshop sale… Last night, I purchased me two jeans and late this morning I got me a belt and a top. So to date, I’ve already blew about 2.3k…I can’t believe I actually spent that much in less than 24 hours. To think I have to pay my phone bill and have the a/c fixed. See why can’t I get my priorities straight???

Oh man. I’m an addict.

shock therapy...

The weather is as fickle as ever. Been raining and been sunny and raining again and sunny again. Ahhhh… but life’s been good anyway. I really couldn’t complain. My family’s doing well. Nobody’s getting really sick despite. Mom’s been recovering well from her sprained arm while my condition has greatly improved. It’s been quite peaceful in the house except for some financial quirks here and there. The building’s almost complete. I can see my room from behind the stacks and stacks of cloth and what-have-you my mom’s been keeping at the third floor. I have been looking for possible designs for the room but I am already sure that green will be color. Since my dad just unplugged the water line to the supposed cr on my room, I told mama I’ll just turn it into a walk-in closet. I really am excited by this. After all these years- finally, a room for myself. A room that I will only share with my things and my creative clutter.

Driving’s been good. I suppose I just really needa work on my parking skills. Plus I needa have the aircon fixed and the clutch too. I had a hard time engaging first gear. Engine stalled about twice but nothing alarming really. I was able to manage and the best part of driving today was that I went through traffic. First time on my own. Hahahahaha… Twas a nice experience though.
Work’s been great too… I’m coming fresh from a workshop at dream… and even if we have negative sentiments about our new bosses handle some things, I would have to agree with my friend from the industry who said that I should appreciate the thought. I might take it for granted but when you really sit down and think about it, there’s hardly any other station that would care as much about their company as much as my bosses seem to really take this seriously. And for that, we have to give them a hand.

More than the things that we picked up from the said workshop, I know it sounds cheesy but I like the fact we got together as a team and just sat down and listen to us… listen to dream and just be kids and just do crazy things in between when the bosses aren’t looking… the feeling is just, I couldn’t even find the words to say it. I am truly lucky to belong to a wonderful bunch. God has been great to me. Definitely a dream team to me…

Moving to my other job…well, I have got to be honest but my passion is not as much as it used to be. I could even say it has waned over the years together reaching its peak when I got word that I of all people, the one who even got a friggin plaque for loyalty, wouldn’t be getting any increase. The job itself is enjoyable. My coworkers are wonderful also but it’s just the company. Imagine, I’ve been here since 2000. I really don’t need any recognition whatsoever, not even a title. But I just need what’s due me. The increase that comes with the tenure and that’s it. Is that too much to ask for in exchange for loyalty? I make it a point to still come to work when every single day, it’s been a struggle. I’m rarely absent though with reasoning summed up as “sayang ang miles!!!”… hahahahah…So what really keeps me here? Well it’s the job..i love the job. I could see myself doing something else, but I couldn’t see myself, not doing this. You get what I mean??? I love the people I work with… the people from the stations and my fellow broadcasters. There’s this sense of fulfillment I get from sitting here, reading from the viewer and delivering the sometimes, er most of the time stupid aobs which make us some munny..

Oh, on a lighter note, I just gave in to a craving. I wanted me some cheese muffin from Fig and even if I don’t have much munny, I still managed to get me a cuppy cake. I’m also excited for tomorrow. There’d be a sale at my fave shops, Topshop and Dorothy Perkins. I already set my eyes on that really nifty denim number from Dotty perks… I’m also uber excited to get me new belts and a pretty shirt… oh I just hope I could get in tomorrow. If not, I’m gonna faint… Bwehehehe…

In a not so welcome development, or perhaps something for the kilig department, I did something with this dj from another station. I’m not gonna go into details but let’s just say, I saw a different side of him that I actually thought was good, even nice. Pretty nice actually that I might actually end up either dreaming or dreading about it…Hala!!!

I’m all too sleepy now. ..still have a coupla rounds then we call it a night.

shoe stopper...

this is the first time i'll ever wear this new acquisition of mine.and dang, it hurts so much i had to give it a rest by the afternoon..back in my dupes now... argh!!!

in my shoes...

Your Pretty Pink Shoes Are

Marc by Marc Jacobs

What Pretty Pink Shoes Should You Wear?

Soundtracking our lives...

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
---How to Save a Life, The Fray---

--------------

Wonder and wonder some more...but things are so much better now.Way way way better...

what's up dawggg!!!

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive. You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Walk the talk..save the sole...

For me, the rainy season is sandal season. I like wearing them sandals and flops during this time most especially and more appropriately because I don’t really wanna ruin them leathers…and neither do we wanna slip in those nice looking still freshly purchased stilettos. Oh shucks. Definitely super dress down when it rains. Good thing I was able to add on two jackets to my wardrobe for the month. So being sandal season, much attention would be on the feet. Yes, the size 10 humongous peds are on the spotlight. And as I was looking at thenm, I was made to realize that my feet are indeed ugly. Argh. Was just not blessed to have really gorgeous feet, but hope springs eternal so they say so why not work on it? Yeah, let’s try to save our soles people… I hope you are with me. We can’t forever hide those tattered mootsie tootsies any longer.
Time to unleash and bring forth new life to our tired and weary feet. Time to go the extra mile for the very important appendage that brought us places.

Google google and this is what I got: down to six steps that could be very well be part of our every day ritual. It’s also pretty easy to remember because it’s the six s’s of saving our soles…sssssssssss!!!
Haha..

1. Sand
Yup, it’s all about sand baby..Sanding!
Since we are to clean,change and condition our nails, it is advised to start off with a non-acetone remover to clean old polish from nails. Then file toenails straight across to avoid ingrowns. Now this is the tough part. Takes practice and patience too, but believe you me, it could be done with the proper tools in handy. Now back to the toenails, shape them into a soft arc and gently file to create a smooth surface.
Here’s a Cuticle Care Tip: For cuticles that are dry and overgrown never try cutting them- leave that to the experts and instead try soaking a cotton ball with olive oil and gently swipe over cuticles before you remove old polish. This will leave your toes shiny and conditioned.
2. Soak
Nothing beats getting all soaked up. Hmmmmmh, ummmh, ummmh. A gentle foot can do the trick of cleansing and softening the skin. Just a few teaspoons of foot soak poured in and mixed into hot water can bring forth an unbeatable soothing sensation as you gently immerse your feet. Adding a few drops of lemon juice will even sanitize and scent your toes with a citrus aroma. Relax for ten minutes and allow the hot bath to loosen dead skin and inject moisture back into your feet. A conditioning foot soak brand like that of Avon’s can help revitalize your tired feet and maximize moisture.
3. Scrub
With the heels now softened, it’s time to scrub away dead skin cells and let a new, fresh layer of skin shine through. Time to scrub-a-dab-dab and massage an exfoliating scrub and slough off dry patches from your heels, arch, ankles, and toes. Rinse by dipping back your feet back in the bath then pat dry with a soft towel. Try to soothe sore feet with a body scrub for a cooling feeling.
4. Soften
Time to rock and rely on a pumice stone to soften those stubborn rough spots. You may also try a dry foot file and scrub back and forth over heels and calluses until skin become soft and even. Don’t hesitate to use a little muscle — some like it rough and tough and sometimes those rough areas need some extra force. There’s a callus remover available in the market, also from Avon and this can easily smooth over the entire surface without missing an inch.
5. Slather
Butter is not only yummy but it can also restore moisture to your feet…so try shea butter. Even better if you smooth on an intensive relief cream like Avon's planet spa foot and elbow cream to add that extra dose of summer softness.
Tip for Tender Toes: For an extra injection of moisture, just right after applying lotion, wrap your feet in dry towels and let them sit for five minutes. They say your body heat will warm up the moisturizer and allow it to really sink in to your skin.
6. Swipe
It goes without saying really that before applying polish, it is best to thoroughly wipe your nails and cuticles with polish remover. This way, you’ll be able to remove any oils or lotions so that polish will go on evenly. Next, time to spread on the base.. Yup, start with a base coat to hide ridges and create an even surface. Two coats are needed…so be generous in brushing two coats , allowing at least 2 minutes between each coat, and a topcoat to seal. For summer, try a light pink shade to enhance your sun-kissed feet.
Quick Dry Tip: When you’re in a rush, don’t run the risk of ruining your newly tinted toes. Get out the door in a flash with a cooking spray from your kitchen. Spritz on a layer, let it dry, and then off you go!

So there, it’s not so tough, now are they? I think we owe it much to our feet to give em the best kind of pampering even with limited budget. Always remember to do your feet good so they wont fail you when you need em most. Hehehehe...
For those who can afford to splurge today, better head on over to Footloose in
Whiteplains. They’re not paying me to write this but I just happened to enjoy their thai foot massage. Anyway, payday is just around the corner. Try to allot at least 500 bucks for that and believe you me, you won’t regret it!. And that's the way you save your sole!!!

Mirror mirror on the wall...

I’ve always been amazed by the power of cosmetics to change one’s perspective about things. Be it the beauty or the beholder both pretty much experience the same gratification from the wonders of aesthetic apothecary.

A couple of weeks back I attended a seminar on Basic Makeup under Suzzane and Cindy. My knowledge and skills or what Ithought I had about make-ups and all have been thrown out the window. We got a pretty good deal for that workshop for 7 hams. That’s right only 700 bucks for a lifelong investment on the proper way of painting one’s face. And mind you, we were using the best products in the market. Products I’m having second thoughts of buying. I could be such a cheapskate at times. As much as I am at awe at great products like Shu Uemura and Lancome Paris, I dunno, I feel that cheaper products would do just as well. But I know, I know, they came with that tag price for a reason. Just like I surrendered to that thought with my Topshop and Dorothy Perkins purchases. Going back to the workshop, I think it came out pretty well. I’ve learned just about enough to get me going. My brows got fixed and dispelled Alma’s notion that mine sucked. Both Cindy and Suzzane even said that they’re mighty fine except for several stray hairs. Nothing to be alarmed about like what Alma was insisting. I do know that the eyebrows can make or break the face but whenever I look in the mirror, I feel that I’m okey. Not so bad really.

My daily beauty ritual just entails washing the face, putting on vitamin c serum and then some cheek stain and a lip tint. Not so much on powder these days. I grew tired of carrying that big pot of loose powder in my bag. The solution would have been easy as just transferring some into a small container but what about my big brush??? Anyway, let’s just leave that be. I never bring my kikay kit as much as I did before. Oh but I have a beauty trailer from Two-Faced which I so loved. One of things I came across the Sephora Surfing Season. Man, I’ve been going to that site really frequently. Got it for a good deal at 30 dollarz... Suweet!!!


Speaking of Sephora Surfing Season, I just came across some facts that everyone could make good use of, so I’m sharing them here to add to your beauty intelligence…

1. Dark circles are not from lack of sleep. This is sheer gossip as the real cause happens to be skin transparency. The short cut cure is a concealer. But one should look for one that can also bolster and protect the skin. You can ask your friendly-neighborhood Dermatologist for the long-time fix.


2. Some people go t the idea that exercise can actually get rid of ugly cellulites. Of course this is not true at all as I have been told that cellulite can affect everyone. So it’s safe to say that couch potatoes and gym freaks are created equal when it comes to cellies…What a let down! But you can thank the hardworking scientists and aestheticians who never succumbed to the pressure of bringing forth a breakthrough cure to anyone suffering the stigma of being cellulite central... I hear Avon’s firming product is good. And I just found out about this Cellulite Solution from Murad but the price tag is about 70 dollarz per kit. Well should you not have that kind of munny, it’s perhaps the best time to accept that cellulites are but part of life.

3. I love perfumes. I absolutely love wearing different fragrances. And again I confess that I’m one of them who wear my most favorite on special occasions. We’ve been told or prolly read somewhere that we should wear fragrance behind our ears. Fact is we should wear it on our pulse points: wrist, behind the knees, crook of the elbow working our way up.


4. This one is so true- split ends can only be repaired by a trip to the salon and having it trimmed off. I’ve come across this exfoliating treatment for the hair but it’s not yet available here in Manila. I’m still tryna find out a similar product from Kerastase, since they have an Institute here anyway. I hear that it’s advisable to bolster strands weekly.

5. Did you ever hear about that rumor that lip balm is addictive? That’s right, could be an old wives’ tale but studies actually showed that they indeed are if they’re medicated. So that could pretty much explain why a certain friend of mine couldn’t stop applying balm like it’s a reflex action. The recommendation so I’ve read is to stick to moisturizing formula that’s free of drying ingredients like camphor and phenol. I would really wanna get my hands on this Buzz Latte Lip balm my sister was raving about from Bare Escentuals. I think it’s pretty neat to have it in Latte flavor. Hmmmmh…


6. For those craving for a tan complexion, better think twice before baking yourself under the sun. Somebody said that a base tan is healthy, but that’s bull. The only healthy tan I hear is fake tan. Tan in a bottle. Sunshine in a pot. Whoaaa… this is pretty interesting. I wonder how I’d look like when I’m all bronzed up…


I used to not like wearing make-up but I just realized that there’s nothing wrong with enhancing one’s beauty. Yes, you could say that it’s superficial; that it’s skin deep, but there’s no denying that beauty is indeed a powerful tool to change one’s perspective. Now you know what I’m talking about. I hear one dj yesterday claiming that he despises beautiful people saying that it’s the inside that counts. The dude somehow feels that it’s bull should a beautiful person claim that beauty is in the inside -- unpretty folks shouldn’t dig that deal because they’re just tryna patronize you in their own little way and tryna make you feel all better. He may have a good point, but I don’t generalize cuz I’ve met some of the most beautiful people and their beauty really emanates from within. I think dj dude should keep an open mind but I do get where he’s coming from since he’s been rubbing elbows with lotsa duh beauties… The beautiful people I know are authentic and sincere. You see, I’m one of the more critical people I know and I wouldn’t call you beautiful if you’re just a mere eye candy. There should be something about you that makes you stand out. Not the make-up, not the shoesies, not the outfit. It’s the way they deal with me and other people. Physical beauty can easily fade away with a snotty attitude and lack of respect for other people. It’s not really the wit or the smarts but it’s more of being generous of your time and understanding. It’s being open to anything that could make you appear like a Miss Universe.

So the next time you see somebody beautiful, be generous with your time to understand that these people are actually equals. Keep in mind that both of you would experience the same emotions and satisfaction either being the beauty or the beholder. At some point in time we would be one or the other. For now, we could work on being the “beauty” that could change everything.

Of lesser beings and more...

I am the non-confrontational type but I would be more than ready to defend myself should the situation call for it. I guess this is how I’s built. I am firm and strong with my resolutions that I could even come across as unreasonable. But of course who in the right mind would admit to being unreasonable at that given point in time???

Just before the week ended last week, I was feeling bad about something that shouldn’t really bother me.

You know, people make mistakes, and I can’t reiterate it even more. Nobody’s perfect. We’re mere mortals! Clichés are clichés because they’ve been proven to be true. And I couldn’t emphasize on it any more than I already have admitted to being at fault for making a friggin mistake on air…

Some people have made such a big deal out of it. I suppose, people who have less capacities to intellectualize the meaning of being human…of making a friggin mistake do not at all deserve my time. They’ve already shown their true colors so why should expect any thing more from them??? I don’t really wanna make such a big deal out of it, but it’s them who have been testing my patience. I mean, I really don’t need any praises from them. Cuz to my thinking, praises and criticisms coming from the same people are pretty much the same. And I really don’t need any of them. I mean, it’s not going to make me a better person so why should I even brother??? That’s the thing though, it’s bothering me because I know it was a mistake and people made such a big deal out of it when in fact I’m the one to bear the brunt. It’s the “Samantha” and not the friggin company that made a mistake. And this person, who just thinks about making sale and making the deal forgot about being human as well. I really don’t get it. Is that person really better than me??? When I don’t really think that that person can actually fill my shoes. Should we trade places, I believe in my heart that I could do the job that that person holds, but the better question is, can that person do my job??? I don’t wanna throw my weight around. I mean, even being in this company longer than they have and being in an industry that is more unforgiving, I think I have more than what they see me as… Geez. I really feel that his job is starting to be a job. After six years I never thought it would be. But when I come to think about it some more, it’s just the people I work with that make it more difficult.

I’m prepared for anything today. Ready to take on anything. Even the darned battery of lab tests I’ve to undergo today, yessss, bring it on!!!

romancing the rain...

It might come across as weird to say that I absolutely adore the rain.
When I was a kid, I’d bathe in the rain. I did this because I got so envious of the other kids who would run around and get all wet. It seemed a lot of fun so what the hell… even if I had to do it alone, heck I’d do it. Hehehe.. I mean I can’t just make paper boats forever.
Speaking of paper boats, I’ve been tryna teach my two year old apo to look forward to the rain by making paper boats with him and playing with them on the puddles of water in our garden. Funny thing happened though, my sister’s car was parked on that side of the garden where we’d usually play with the boats, and so I just got me a basin of water and went on to play with the paper boats Chanchan pressured me to make. Hehehe.. Gad, I love that kid so much and I feel that he loves me back just as much. He’s always excited whenever I come home at night. My niece says there’d be times when he’d be looking for me when he wakes up in the morning. Awwww!

Anyway, going back to the rains, one of the other reasons why I like it is because we get to keep our cool. At least for the most part. I mean, I hear of few people getting all riled up because of the rains than people getting irritated because of the heat. This is very much true because we are warm-blooded creatures. So there really is a scientific basis for this. However, the fact that we get so relaxed could bring us to that melancholic state where we tend to emote and just lose ourselves in either jubilation or depression. If I may, a lot of people end up playing or directing a music video in their heads when they hear a song while gazing thru the window watching the rains pour down. Naks. Hehehe…I too, am guilty of this sometimes. Can I just emphasize on “sometimes”? Hahaha.

For some people rains would come off as a bad thing. Like it dampens the spirit, like raining on one’s parade. But despite all the negativity attached to it, I still love it when it showers. For me, the rains make memories more vivid. I tend to remember things more when it’s associated with the rains. I suppose it’s because it adds more drama to it all. I dunno, that’s just how I feel about it. Rains never dampen my spirit. I’d say I’m even more in touch with my emotions when water starts to trickle down from the heavens. Hey, a lot of songs have been written about this phenom and I can name you favorites: Madonna’s Rain, BJ Thomas’ Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, A-ha’s Crying in the Rain and Garbage’s Only Happy When it Rain. Incidentally, the first time I came out on tv back in college, my friend Chiqui and myself had to introduce the Garbage song on MTV's Most Wanted. hehehe... see,told you anything rain would be memorable to me...
Weird??? Again, I go back to my childhood and remember those days when I’d go frolickin in the rain, and that vivid memory alone makes me look forward to the next memorable moment I’d be having whenever a single drop of water from the sky touches my face.

pop musings of the heiress type...

Here's another confession: I am actually amused by Paris Hilton's "Stars are Blind". Can you believe that? Well she's got quite an infectious groove going on, reminding me so much of Blondie ( well she is after all!!!)

Some people just tend to have it all. And this hotel heiress is definitely enjoying the time of her life,or could she be one of those bratty kids with issues that they tend to dismiss for public consumption.

face value...

My next endeavor should focus on finishing my requirements to make it in time for next year’s commencement exercises. Not that I plan to attend. I just wanted get it over and done with. Geez. I’m on my fifth year. Well this journey in gradschool has been really exciting: full of firsts, actually. First time to get an incomplete mark, first time to get a substitution, first time to change matriculation, first time to prerog. Oh well, c’est la vie. At first I didn’t really think I could deal with it, but hey, I’ve dealt with it, and I am still dealing it. It’s not exactly perfect but I shouldn’t complain.

Anyway, I have a racket for the weekend. It’s enough to make up for the purchases I’ve incurred during the week. I’m also looking forward to the make-up session tomorrow. And I mean cosmetics, baby!!! Hehehe. Not that I’m completely clueless about doing make-up and stuff, just that I feel it’s time to professionalize it. Naks.Hahaha.. This is just the "maarte" me being unleashed.

Now if I could just put as much excitement from my getting giddy over the makeup thing to finishing my requirement, oh the world would definitely such a better place. Bwehehehe.

shoesies smoochies...

I have to confess. I am a shoe addict. I dunno what’s wrong with me the past coupla days. But it seems as if they’re calling me. Even in my sleep. They’re calling me. Buy me, buy me…try me, try me… Oh man, it’s my growing addiction of late. Well it was quite some years now since I last got myself into this obsession with shoeeeeesssss… In a weeks time I have purchase 3 pairs just to appease myself. I suppose, it’s borne out of frustration too. I have quite big feet. I’m a size 10 regular. About 9-9.5 wide and American size. Oh man. Imagine what I have to go through just to find that perfect pair. My feet started getting big at age 5. By then, I was to realize that age is directly correlated to the feet size. By 6 I was size 6, 7 at 7 then 8 at 8, 9 at 9…and thank god it stopped there. I still remember having to buy school shoes at the men’s department since none would fit me in the ladies’ department. Talk about getting frustrated at an early age. Hay.

Anyway, back to the present, I have so many shoesies that I don’t even get to wear, but I want more… and by that, I have to say, I am addicted. I have asked my sister to go buy me tons and tons of shoes. Nope, Im not really after the brand cuz even if I tend to suffer impulsive shopping frenzy I still think about the quantity of shoes I could purchase. I mean my most expensive shoes would still be the graduation shoes I got for 4k and that was back in 97… Now I don’t remember buying anything more than 1.5 these days with the exception of rubber shoesies which I really get at 20-30% off thanks to a friend who has connection with my brand of choice, Adidas. Hehehehe…

Oh, I think I failed to mention that aside from being big, I think my feet are ugly. It’s because it’s big not that it’s thickly covered with veins and all. Just that they’re not as pretty as I would like them to be. Lately, I stopped wearing closed shoes. Because they tend to darken my feet right at the corners.

I cant wait for the weekend. I wanna have something done on my feet. Some pampering perhaps. Prolly have them painted which I never usually do. I dunno. Hay… anything to get my mind off on that bad day I had last Monday.

shiny happy people...

I took a cab with two complete strangers. They were two nice women I caught up with when I was about to board the fx bound for Ortigas. Apparently, they too were rushing but were on a budget. Despite all the anger in my heart from what transpired yesterday, I managed to dig up some trust for this two nameless people.

Anyway, about late morning when I dashed to the atm to get some cash, guess what happened to me? This is not the first time mind you. I made a similar booboo some months ago in another branch only that time I was able to put it back since I was in the bank. But today was different, a cab was waiting for me and I don’t hell know how to deposit via the machine. Eeek. Just don’t trust them machines. Hehehehe… I already screwed up with the keys on the atm machine withdrawing, what more with depositing. *scared* So there, I had about 10 grand in tow when I left the building. Hay. Oh, but it’s alright, I’ll be going to the bank this Thursday to deposit the checks for the month.

I’m still thinking if I should ever blog about Monday. Just to vent it out. Oh I dunno. Such weird feeling. If I ever should mention anything about that fateful day, it would be about my new purchases. I got me a couple of denim jackets. These are the jackets I’ve been dying to acquire. The timing was definitely perfect. It’s not often that I’d have the money when I see something I like. Since last week, I’ve been seriously indulging in retail therapy. I dunno. But I made purchases left and right. Mostly shoesies and flipflops.


Can’t wait for the weekend again. Che and Alma and myself are to go to this makeup tutorial. Hopefully this will help me clear up some of the negativity in my system. Here’s to me and this wonderful day!!!

swallowing and wallowing with the bitter truth...

There's just too many things in my head right now... I even found myself gasping for breath and tryna keep calm. I wanted to say something. But I know I shouldn't. But when I think about it even more, I should've spoken a long time ago. I dunno what's wrong. I dunno if I've done people wrong, if my family has done people wrong to even deserve this sort of situation. It was suspension of disbelief. I was on the brink of breaking down and just exploding like a hot mass ... Geez.

At least I got to let it out on driving today. I think I shall be ready by say, next month??? Hopefully, I've mustered enough strength by then to just like Taytay would sing: Taking it to the streets!!!

Oh man oh man... I still need to work on overcoming my fears. I know I should take control because the truth is, I'm in control. Like I always am.

I'm tryna fix my life and then this... if I just let it go, this is like witnessing a murder and keeping mum about it. It's not what I stand for. I know I should do something. Anyway, I sought the help of my sib. Let's just hope and pray she'd know what to do. Else, I have to take matters into thy hands *gulp*

singing in the rain...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

--- what hurts the most, rascal flatts

definitely my new emo song!!!

world's most beautiful family

when boredom hits the fan...

this is what i do during my spare time... hehehehe...

speed the second time around...

Wow, I'm just about excited to see this one... "How do you hold on to someone you haven't even met?"...

Piercing. Aching. Geez.

basking in the afterglow (of American Idol)

Well what do you know our Southern Boy won and guess who’s really happy with the results??? Me me me… Hehehe…I shoulda made a bet- but nah, I don’t engage in things like those. Anyway, I’m just thrilled about this year’s competition however Season 4 will forever be in the books as the best! I was so hoping that Bo would grace the finale so he and Tay-tay can do another mean Alabama anthem…hehehe!!!

Props to Katharine-- at some point, I liked her. I mean she could sing not to mention that she’s gorgeous. If I’d really wanna look good, I wanna look just like her with or without the wardrobe malfunction. I like her locks, I like her height, her butt— but nope, I’m nowhere near turning into a lesbo…

This year’s finale by far outshined the other seasons. What with the presence of yet another American idol, Prince. I loved it more though when Taylor and Katharine sang one of my all time favorite duets—from Dirty Dancing: “I’ve Had the Time of My Life”. Although I was more hoping last year that Bo and Carrie would sing that one, I was just as thrilled to listen to Kaylor and see them having fun with the song. See, those AI folks better take suggestions from me from now on…hehehehe…

Overall, I had a fantastic time this season. The finale show more than made up for my share of upsets and disappointments.

Here’s hoping for a bigger and better season next year.

And still I go: GO GO Soul Patrol!!!


By the way, here’s congratulating Mr. Hicks. Mr. Clive Davis just signed him up for a promising album.