Adam Lambert - (Wicked) As Long As You're Mine [FULL HQ]

love itttt....

happy to be mellow...

I've found a new home in a new frequency. And perhaps it was destiny playing me... with my sudden departure from the neighborhood, plus an unscheduled trip to Singapore, my sisters flying back home - life has just been surprising me at every given turn... boy oh boy!

welcome to the jungle...

I was just reading the last entry. And boy oh boy...so many things have transpired in such short a time...

I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.

But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.

And if I should say anything good about my stay at that particular station, it would have to be the fact that I've learned to believe in myself more. I've learned to manage my doubts. I finally relearned to trust my instincts. And to leave something for myself. At the end of the day, it's just me and only me.


I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.

welcome to the jungle...

I was just reading the last entry. And boy oh boy...so many things have transpired in such short a time...

I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.

But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.

But there's always something good that came out from my stay there... I learned to trust myself better. I've learned that I still had the knack for writing. And I have become more empowered.


I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.

handing in the inevitable...

I'm not sure if it was the smartest thing to do, but it sure felt like it was the right thing to do...
I wrote off my so called passion. I tendered my resignation from the station I thought would be nice enough to be my home. But like everybody else, we are bound to make mistakes. And it's something I'd want to believe will make me stronger.

I so love this job but if it would mean losing myself in the process, I feel that this is the best thing that I could ever do for myself at this point.

Nobody dies from a heartbreak, right? But I'd rather be heartbroken than be truly miserable like most people there. I mean, come on, do I honestly think that it was a perfect world out there? Each one has their own gripe about each other, which if I may say, am not so used to. And I don't have any plans of getting used to it, thank you very much! However, I feel sorry for them. I feel that the station has a lot of potential. Only and if only people there would learn to acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses and work for a common goal. Which is a no-brainer really, but I keep on forgetting that we're talking egos as well...

But who am I to tell these people what to do. Who am I to even share my sentiments about the industry. I'm sure they wouldn't take it from someone like me. Sure I graduated from UP ..sure I took Broadcast Communication. Sure I auditioned for my first job and didn't have to kiss any one's ass in the process... Sure I was pretty consistent in my performance in whatever program format I had to adhere to... sure I had a stint on local tv... Gosh...

But those are things of the past...and so is my stint in that neighborhood. I just hope that I get to keep something. Like the friendships. But even that, I begin to doubt. And that's pretty crazy, right? It would feel really awkward, really strange at times. I even opted not to report for them anymore. It just feels a little off. I'd much rather steer clear than create any more ripples or what-not.

I can't wait for the day that I'd laugh this one out if and when I tell about my story there. In the meantime, I was told that it's okey to feel bad. I have every right to mourn at this point. There's no telling if I could still go back to radio. And even if I did, would I have enough passion to fight for it?

In any case, I don't wanna burn bridges. There is a strong possibility that I'd be going back...

when the lacrimals give in...

about a week ago, after hearing and realizing some stuff told to me by a superior, i felt the world cave in and just crushed me to bits...

i know i needed it...i know i deserved it...but by god, i never thought i'd be hit like that...

i was contemplating forever if i should or should not and then i did...but now more than before, i can't believe i'm actually entertaining thoughts of doubt and restlessness about my decision...

but hey, i'm back to one piece...

sure it hurt me a great deal...only because this means a lot to me. if it still doesn't work, then maybe i should really give up...and perhaps it's a sign from god that i should move on...

i wish things weren't as complicated.

how i wish i was just waking up to another saturday morning when i was around 8 or 9..back when cartoons were my main priority every single weekend...

i'll always remember that very emotional evening...the lacrimals just wouldn't let up as i locked myself inside the car and just pour it all out.

uhm, i just dont ever wanna feel that way again.

lost in the crossroads...

i busted my right arm a couple of days back and the pain remains 4 days later and i'm getting even more emotional as i attempt to get my mind off it...

psychosomatic? i've been kinna down lately. and it has a lot to do with work.

it just baffles me to pieces why people put so much faith in you...and you- on your part- desperately- and really eagerly try not to let them down...you frustratingly shake your world to make room for whatever...

and then more doubts...more questions...more hesitations...

am i doing the right thing? have i made the right decision? what if i'm just doing this because i thought i could-- and then i really couldn't?

what if i've gotten so involved in this, that i just couldn't turn back? what if it's just pride eating me right now more than anything?

or perhaps i may have overestimated my self.

food trips and then some....

This is a super delayed post of the first ever (cooking) pot session held at the Minoza residence one Friday night... the carnage...

posing for posterity...

happy with the food...

our antipasti ... the table spread...

on the onslaught..picture of happiness...
happy and ful-filled...(stomachs!)

the buoyant ploy...

It sometimes amazes me how I manage to keep myself afloat despite some serious issues I have been tryna handle.

Mostly emotionally taxing, I just don't know where I pull it sometimes. Well we all have our weak moments which can eventually leave you with so much damage that you can't even imagine. But I never had one of that sort. Looking back at what I have gone through in the past, I'm just glad that I've made the right decision or at least, something out there forced me to make the right move.

I just recently found out what happened with GT and AK...and of course RT. I mean among all of them I was darn closest to RT to this day. He's [RT]finally having a baby. And I'm happy for him, but at the same time, I'm tryna recall why I ever even thought of being with that person. Geez. He could be such a dead weight, you wouldn't believe!

With regards to AK, it was a brief but memorable encounter. He too has a family now. Saw them on friendster.And boy, has he aged faster than I have. Like doubled his age. Well I do know that as the eldest in the family and with the loss of their dad, he really had to step up and fill his old man's shoes.Prolly had a lot to handle..tsk tsk... But boy, oh boy-- even if he's kind-hearted and sweet and all, he's still plain boring to me. Let's just say he wouldn't be able to keep up with how I think. Which is sad, because that's precisely the point why we couldn't even get past the mutual admiration stage. Although, we (or more like just I) don't really mean to look for an intellectual equal, it would sure make life a bit more meaningful if that significant other significantly contributes a great deal of thought and insights to a loving relationship. Argh.

GT is a no-brainer-bad-idea type thing...Well for one, a married guy?
Another, a constant liar? and hell, one of the not-so-good-looking-but-feeling-god's-gift-to-women sort of thing...in short, he's a major flirt... A kid also tamed his ways. Or so as I've been told. For years, he wanted to have a kid and made it as an excuse for his philandering ways. Geez. But I'm way past that. It's darn over and I'm so gladdddd!

So why am I all of a sudden waxing nostalgic? I dunno. Just felt like it. Because of sheer amazement perhaps..or the lack of better things to do..hahahah...

hearts all over the world tonight....with you, with you...with you!

We both liked this song so much. Weird. Where is this leading to? Uhm, I could only guess. The slippery slope thing strikes anew. Scary but it sure does make me smile.

Miss him terribly. Even if we just spoke last night. Hahaha.

show me some britney love...

i'd hate to be in her shoes...even if they're jimmy choos or blahniks.

i love britney what can i say...

i wish her well..

a toast to 2008...

2007 aint so bad...but here's looking forward to even more fabulous 2008...

just before it hits the bottom...

October ends in just a few kicks...Happy Halloween!!!

The past coupla days have been pretty hectic and emotional. Over the weekend, I got the bad news. My Canadian visa application had been refused. I was still in denial as I went out and spent a day with my girl friends at Shang. Shopped and ate as usual. Thanks to Alma for the wonderful dinner treat at Fish&Co.

And why did I get denied? It's my bro's fault. He actually petitioned me and so my name was on the database. Turns out that I won't be allowed to go there unless my brother invited me and vouched for me via a notarized invitation letter. Which he will do, in the meantime, I'd be heading for Bangkok tomorrow for the holidays. Be back by Sunday. Looking forward to one fantastic experience there. See, this is pretty much the first time I'd be spending All-Saints and Souls Day outside the country..heck, this is the first time I'll ever be taking a break during this holiday.

Oh well. The trip is 25k excluding the shopping money. Grrrr.

This I know will be worth it. Cheerio!!!

always fashionably late...

Kill me, for I have been on a long hiatus from blogging here. Oh my little blogspot, I am sorry.

I know I've been too caught up with multiply that I don't get to post much here for sooo damn long.

But man, this is where it all began.(Naks!)

I think I mentioned this before, but I used to think that blogging was just for tards who feel they're doing others a favor by writing what the heck happened or happening in their lives. You know, the not so famous ones? Desperately seeking attention even from mere strangers. Hehehe. I know I could be harsh (even to myself)sometimes. But I don't think it's bad to be critical... not too much though.

Anyway,things have happened since the last time I posted here. For one, a boy thursday emerged, and then some. Hahahaha.

At the end of the day, I still feel happy. I am so grateful for so many things. It would be a shame if I don't put in any effort to whatever goal I would want to achieve. (All of a sudden I sound so serious!).

I asked Boy Thursday why he wouldn't lemme read his stuff. He just laughed away and pretended not to hear it. Now that made me even more curious! But, yeah, I better leave the man alone...

And then, I better go back to work.

redundancy is key...

that's what they all say, that if you repeat something over and over and over again, it might come true. so today, i'm telling myself,on repeat mode, i am feeling fantastic. these days, things are pretty slow. no big thing happening. not that i'm not happy with my life or something, it's just that i don't have much to be excited about other than the trip which is like 3-4 months from now. i mean, i'm already sure that that's going to happen. i want something that would rev up my spirit. hmmmh. i am careful though of whatever i'll be wishing.

until then, my mantra is redundancy is key. redundancy is key.

star struck ....

This is what I have been doing for the past 20 idle minutes...

http://www.myheritage.com

Should I start looking for my own Brad Pitt now??? hahahahaha...

always a tragedy before christmas...

it never fails. it always happens. we can only wonder. why does it always happen before christmas?

it's just weird to hear mixed reactions yesterday as most people in metro manila were really looking forward to face Reming. I suppose the excitement was built up by the most recent typhoon Milenyo which was really intense. but aren't we all supposed to be thankful that we were spared?

i saw the pictures. and ive been reporting the news since yesterday...and i just couldn't help but think about how christmas would be like for the families affected. i just hope we could do our part in helping. i know i would. in my own little way. i need not say that you could to...

a prayer or two will actually do.

a need to whine...

Everyone's pretty occupied with the Pacquiao-Morales fight. The usual busy packed streets are amazingly clean and clear. Meanwhile, ABS CBN's been raking in the money from the sponsors. Bleeding it to the last drop. Geez. I just hope Manny brings this one home...

Well anyway, I'm not about to whine about that, I am whining about someone... I saw him today. But he didn't even say hi. I dunno what's wrong. I just hope he's really busy. It's been days, not that I should be affected. But I guess I am. See, this is what I really don't like about me. I kept to myself for too long and now, I've been missing this person so much. I am so tempted to tell him, but I just might turn him off. That's the last thing I would want now. Although I am feeling ultra sensitive about it right now, I know it's just the hormones working. Honestly, I don't think I can handle a relationship anymore anyway. I dunno. I'm just playing it cool for now.

Speaking of playing it cool, an old friend just made his presence felt. I didn't know that he's a regular reader of my blog. So HELLO THERE... this is about you alright. Nice to hear from you. and yeah, I'd definitely want to mess around with you..hahahaha.

Anyway, my spirit is picking up. It's starting to rain. Think it's time for me to get ready to go to the grocery. Ahhh, the life---retail therapy still rocks my socks!!!hehehehe.

three's never a crowd...

One of the few perks from working at trapik.com is working with great people. People I become attached to. People I've grown to love and respect. People I love to be associated with. People I've come to be super friends with. From the djs to my co workers..to my seatmates and even Manong July, my stay at trapik would always be cherished. Not that I'm leaving anytime soon. Although I should, to pursue other things, but I dunno, I just love the place. What other job would give you as much freedom, as much fun, as much great characters than our little company? (Well, uhmmmh, dream is also a great place to work in...but I'll write something about it later)

Anyway, I am getting very warm and nostalgic about trapik all of a sudden following my brief but nonetheless wonderful encounter over lunch, with two of the great finds at trapik: Karen and Dindi. Ofcourse Karen was my ever worry wart seatmate back then while Dindi was her friend. Eventually we all became friends and I even get to work with Dindi after her stint at trapik. Both are younger than I am but when it comes to other stuff, believe me, I am left way behind. Hahahaha... I really feel so blessed having known these two. I am really genuinely happy that both of them are able to live their dreams of being part of the industry that I so love. I mean, not a lot of people are given this much opportunity. And being such an old school dj that I am, I would only want those deserving to be called my colleagues. I mean radio is still and should always be about the voice and the personality amalgamating with the music and the personality of the station. Never about the looks as the new school of radio is trying to pervade. You know even if we don't earn as much as all those big time managers and executives from those multinational companies and shit like that, I am very much happy with my job. The trade off is worth it. I suppose this is where I get my youth. Not that I have Peter Pan tendencies, it's just that, the reality is I am not getting any younger and for some people, this industry may not be too kind even to the gracefully aging beings like me. But I always believed that if you're good, you'll always have a place. That's al there is. Your passion will drive you and give what's due for you. This may sound as if I'm romanticizing it all, but corny as it may, I really feel that there's a substantial amount of truth to it.

Anyway, back to Dindi and Karen, I am so happy that finally, our dear Sexy Terry is over her big mistake that was Eric. I always know that good things happen to good people, and she's done her part and now she's at peace with herself. I also wish Dindi would finally find her true happiness, be it migrating to Canada, or finding her own Borat, a willing and abled guy who could sweep her off her feet, make her laugh and simply just ...you know, satisfy her. Hahahaha.. (she might get to read this, patay!) Anyway, aside from these two being so in-the-know, I am also thankful to them for changing my perspective on purchasing great brands in a heartbeat. I mean, I've always loved Marks & Spencer, especially when they go on sale but did you know that years ago, I'd be adamant to spend my hard earned moolah in a snap on branded stuff. But all that changed when Karen was convincing enough to tell me that Topshop aint that pricey for such quality. And after a few shopping bags from that fantastic store, I am indeed a convert. Even drawn to Dorothy Perkins. Meanwhile Dindi's contributions are Dupe and Debenhams.

Last night I was also with an old friend. My old boss Sir Brent was in the neighborhood while me and Grace were having dinner at Kitaro. Grace had a scheduled interview at around 10, so we just had a nice warm dinner to pass time. Sir Brent was walking down Emerald and saw me and went in and we tried to catch up. The chitchat went on til Grace had to leave, and Kitaro had to close. So we decided to relocate to Starbucks as he was craving for some hot tea. It's nice to see him lose a lot of weight. Looks better now and he seems more at peace now more than ever. Again, good things happen to good people. Just a little work and patience. Can't wait to see the other guys from Home, if only Pancho could come visit. I miss getting drunk and wasted with those blokes. Hahahaha...

See, I am really really happy with the kind of friends I have. And so if I may suggest, try to choose your friends--you can always do so. It's not a crime. Nothing wrong with being friendly, but make sure you keep a considerable distance to those you don't really like. Sometimes being too polite could keep you from choosing your friends or the people you keep for company. I'd say, don't ever ever give in to the pressures. I am telling you--YOU can choose your friends. I am happy with my choices now. Never been happier.