the buoyant ploy...

It sometimes amazes me how I manage to keep myself afloat despite some serious issues I have been tryna handle.

Mostly emotionally taxing, I just don't know where I pull it sometimes. Well we all have our weak moments which can eventually leave you with so much damage that you can't even imagine. But I never had one of that sort. Looking back at what I have gone through in the past, I'm just glad that I've made the right decision or at least, something out there forced me to make the right move.

I just recently found out what happened with GT and AK...and of course RT. I mean among all of them I was darn closest to RT to this day. He's [RT]finally having a baby. And I'm happy for him, but at the same time, I'm tryna recall why I ever even thought of being with that person. Geez. He could be such a dead weight, you wouldn't believe!

With regards to AK, it was a brief but memorable encounter. He too has a family now. Saw them on friendster.And boy, has he aged faster than I have. Like doubled his age. Well I do know that as the eldest in the family and with the loss of their dad, he really had to step up and fill his old man's shoes.Prolly had a lot to handle..tsk tsk... But boy, oh boy-- even if he's kind-hearted and sweet and all, he's still plain boring to me. Let's just say he wouldn't be able to keep up with how I think. Which is sad, because that's precisely the point why we couldn't even get past the mutual admiration stage. Although, we (or more like just I) don't really mean to look for an intellectual equal, it would sure make life a bit more meaningful if that significant other significantly contributes a great deal of thought and insights to a loving relationship. Argh.

GT is a no-brainer-bad-idea type thing...Well for one, a married guy?
Another, a constant liar? and hell, one of the not-so-good-looking-but-feeling-god's-gift-to-women sort of thing...in short, he's a major flirt... A kid also tamed his ways. Or so as I've been told. For years, he wanted to have a kid and made it as an excuse for his philandering ways. Geez. But I'm way past that. It's darn over and I'm so gladdddd!

So why am I all of a sudden waxing nostalgic? I dunno. Just felt like it. Because of sheer amazement perhaps..or the lack of better things to do..hahahah...