face value...

My next endeavor should focus on finishing my requirements to make it in time for next year’s commencement exercises. Not that I plan to attend. I just wanted get it over and done with. Geez. I’m on my fifth year. Well this journey in gradschool has been really exciting: full of firsts, actually. First time to get an incomplete mark, first time to get a substitution, first time to change matriculation, first time to prerog. Oh well, c’est la vie. At first I didn’t really think I could deal with it, but hey, I’ve dealt with it, and I am still dealing it. It’s not exactly perfect but I shouldn’t complain.

Anyway, I have a racket for the weekend. It’s enough to make up for the purchases I’ve incurred during the week. I’m also looking forward to the make-up session tomorrow. And I mean cosmetics, baby!!! Hehehe. Not that I’m completely clueless about doing make-up and stuff, just that I feel it’s time to professionalize it. Naks.Hahaha.. This is just the "maarte" me being unleashed.

Now if I could just put as much excitement from my getting giddy over the makeup thing to finishing my requirement, oh the world would definitely such a better place. Bwehehehe.

shoesies smoochies...

I have to confess. I am a shoe addict. I dunno what’s wrong with me the past coupla days. But it seems as if they’re calling me. Even in my sleep. They’re calling me. Buy me, buy me…try me, try me… Oh man, it’s my growing addiction of late. Well it was quite some years now since I last got myself into this obsession with shoeeeeesssss… In a weeks time I have purchase 3 pairs just to appease myself. I suppose, it’s borne out of frustration too. I have quite big feet. I’m a size 10 regular. About 9-9.5 wide and American size. Oh man. Imagine what I have to go through just to find that perfect pair. My feet started getting big at age 5. By then, I was to realize that age is directly correlated to the feet size. By 6 I was size 6, 7 at 7 then 8 at 8, 9 at 9…and thank god it stopped there. I still remember having to buy school shoes at the men’s department since none would fit me in the ladies’ department. Talk about getting frustrated at an early age. Hay.

Anyway, back to the present, I have so many shoesies that I don’t even get to wear, but I want more… and by that, I have to say, I am addicted. I have asked my sister to go buy me tons and tons of shoes. Nope, Im not really after the brand cuz even if I tend to suffer impulsive shopping frenzy I still think about the quantity of shoes I could purchase. I mean my most expensive shoes would still be the graduation shoes I got for 4k and that was back in 97… Now I don’t remember buying anything more than 1.5 these days with the exception of rubber shoesies which I really get at 20-30% off thanks to a friend who has connection with my brand of choice, Adidas. Hehehehe…

Oh, I think I failed to mention that aside from being big, I think my feet are ugly. It’s because it’s big not that it’s thickly covered with veins and all. Just that they’re not as pretty as I would like them to be. Lately, I stopped wearing closed shoes. Because they tend to darken my feet right at the corners.

I cant wait for the weekend. I wanna have something done on my feet. Some pampering perhaps. Prolly have them painted which I never usually do. I dunno. Hay… anything to get my mind off on that bad day I had last Monday.

shiny happy people...

I took a cab with two complete strangers. They were two nice women I caught up with when I was about to board the fx bound for Ortigas. Apparently, they too were rushing but were on a budget. Despite all the anger in my heart from what transpired yesterday, I managed to dig up some trust for this two nameless people.

Anyway, about late morning when I dashed to the atm to get some cash, guess what happened to me? This is not the first time mind you. I made a similar booboo some months ago in another branch only that time I was able to put it back since I was in the bank. But today was different, a cab was waiting for me and I don’t hell know how to deposit via the machine. Eeek. Just don’t trust them machines. Hehehehe… I already screwed up with the keys on the atm machine withdrawing, what more with depositing. *scared* So there, I had about 10 grand in tow when I left the building. Hay. Oh, but it’s alright, I’ll be going to the bank this Thursday to deposit the checks for the month.

I’m still thinking if I should ever blog about Monday. Just to vent it out. Oh I dunno. Such weird feeling. If I ever should mention anything about that fateful day, it would be about my new purchases. I got me a couple of denim jackets. These are the jackets I’ve been dying to acquire. The timing was definitely perfect. It’s not often that I’d have the money when I see something I like. Since last week, I’ve been seriously indulging in retail therapy. I dunno. But I made purchases left and right. Mostly shoesies and flipflops.


Can’t wait for the weekend again. Che and Alma and myself are to go to this makeup tutorial. Hopefully this will help me clear up some of the negativity in my system. Here’s to me and this wonderful day!!!

swallowing and wallowing with the bitter truth...

There's just too many things in my head right now... I even found myself gasping for breath and tryna keep calm. I wanted to say something. But I know I shouldn't. But when I think about it even more, I should've spoken a long time ago. I dunno what's wrong. I dunno if I've done people wrong, if my family has done people wrong to even deserve this sort of situation. It was suspension of disbelief. I was on the brink of breaking down and just exploding like a hot mass ... Geez.

At least I got to let it out on driving today. I think I shall be ready by say, next month??? Hopefully, I've mustered enough strength by then to just like Taytay would sing: Taking it to the streets!!!

Oh man oh man... I still need to work on overcoming my fears. I know I should take control because the truth is, I'm in control. Like I always am.

I'm tryna fix my life and then this... if I just let it go, this is like witnessing a murder and keeping mum about it. It's not what I stand for. I know I should do something. Anyway, I sought the help of my sib. Let's just hope and pray she'd know what to do. Else, I have to take matters into thy hands *gulp*

singing in the rain...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

--- what hurts the most, rascal flatts

definitely my new emo song!!!

world's most beautiful family

when boredom hits the fan...

this is what i do during my spare time... hehehehe...

speed the second time around...

Wow, I'm just about excited to see this one... "How do you hold on to someone you haven't even met?"...

Piercing. Aching. Geez.

basking in the afterglow (of American Idol)

Well what do you know our Southern Boy won and guess who’s really happy with the results??? Me me me… Hehehe…I shoulda made a bet- but nah, I don’t engage in things like those. Anyway, I’m just thrilled about this year’s competition however Season 4 will forever be in the books as the best! I was so hoping that Bo would grace the finale so he and Tay-tay can do another mean Alabama anthem…hehehe!!!

Props to Katharine-- at some point, I liked her. I mean she could sing not to mention that she’s gorgeous. If I’d really wanna look good, I wanna look just like her with or without the wardrobe malfunction. I like her locks, I like her height, her butt— but nope, I’m nowhere near turning into a lesbo…

This year’s finale by far outshined the other seasons. What with the presence of yet another American idol, Prince. I loved it more though when Taylor and Katharine sang one of my all time favorite duets—from Dirty Dancing: “I’ve Had the Time of My Life”. Although I was more hoping last year that Bo and Carrie would sing that one, I was just as thrilled to listen to Kaylor and see them having fun with the song. See, those AI folks better take suggestions from me from now on…hehehehe…

Overall, I had a fantastic time this season. The finale show more than made up for my share of upsets and disappointments.

Here’s hoping for a bigger and better season next year.

And still I go: GO GO Soul Patrol!!!


By the way, here’s congratulating Mr. Hicks. Mr. Clive Davis just signed him up for a promising album.