Sunday, March 13, 2005

biting back on reality

It's been more than a month since the goddess wrote, and boy had she had a lot to say in the previous outings. If this were my career I wouldve sucked at it big time and became a hobo. Being busy would be the lamest excuse now. The concept of 'being busy' is definitely beyond me. Sigh!

Anyhow, I've been pondering on the so-called future the past few. Once again, I'm at that point where I am actually thinking about the possibilities. I'm still happy with my jobs. But I still get pressured by certain things: my age, my peers's salaries,my own salary, my health,my big plans...and so on and so forth. Geez, I better do something I know. But unless I get this other thing off my chest and off my head, then I'd be good to go. Certain decisions have to be made. However, I couldn't completely decide yet, because all of a sudden I feel that am I really supposed to decide now? and would that decision really matter now that things seem to be taking a different turn? Ahhh. Life in disarray never fails to amuse anyone. And yes, I'm speaking in tongues now. Again, if this blogging thing is my bread and butter, then I suppose I better start telling my self that I ought to just do away with the bread and butter and enjoy my water. Hehehe.

I have to pick myself up from here on. Last night something life threatening happened to me, and it's quite amazing how I saw myself fast forward to the future and feeling that I would be such a disappointment. Oh garsh... Oh well. Here's to the goddess! More blah blahs!

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