song for the day...

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

quick cure for a bum heart...

Something I'm currently singing for him...

the ballad of a forlorn girl

suddenly, an emotional roller coaster... why she took the ride is beyond her knowledge.

people expect her to be smart all the time. she was able to keep up for the most part of her life. but she'd fall short at one point. more like at one aspect. more like when she falls in love.

is she really at fault? she tends to blame herself for allowing her to be where she is.

she has fallen in love more than once. maybe twice or thrice in this lifetime.

but she's still alone....she's awful at the game. she's too generous about giving love.

she wants to get a hold of herself. she wants to stop taking that ride...that emotional roller coaster ride.

the trip's been draining her energy. sucking the life from her.

what should she do? she has no clue. forever embattled.forever bamboozled.

she just wants to have somebody hold her hand while she figures out everything.

it's hard enough that she's confused. but she feels that that's not even half the difficulty of being alone and pretending that she's not...

is she going to be OK? she has to, and she pretty much hopes to..even prays and secretly wishes.

once again, her heart takes the beating...but this forlorn girl feels it's way better than not feeling at all. 

she wipes all the tears from her face. tries on a smile for a change...and secretly hopes that this person that she's so full of love for will never give up on her. she's not asking him to love him as much as she does...she knows that that will never happen.

but she's grateful. ever so thankful for his time. and patience...if she could only ask for more of those, she just might survive this. 

until then, forlorn girl.

the bottom line...

there's a girl who fell so ridiculously in love with a boy from a far far away place.girl knows she'll eventually get her heart broken, one way or another.but the girl is just too stubborn.

of blank stares on a hot summer day...

I know it's been awhile since I last wrote anything in here. Seems like a million years to me. Lots of things happened, yes. Couldn't begin to recall everything much more put them in a blog retrospective...highly doubt.

I have been tryna find some inspiration or someone to kick me in the butt because yes, I so feel like I'm in a rut.  Here I go again with this stoopid soliloquy.. which would have proven to be useful if I only I could  just use it for work. Drat.

I was told by someone to stop and smell the flowers and have some coffee.  Thing is, it came at a wrong time and just had me reduced to tears. Uhm, a lot actually. To the point that you cannot breathe and just made you just want to jump from the first bridge you see. 


I was able to finish what I'm supposed to.  Shocking, but not quite happy about it. But like someone told me, sometimes good enough will do.


Time for more of the blank stares. It might eventually prove to be therapeutic. Who knows!!!