it's another busy week for me and i love it. and temperatures withstanding, i should say twas a nice week. the island boy was pretty calm mostly, but he got so upset to find out about my going to the gym. what's wrong with that? well apparently, he feels for those labourers and even the unemployed who cant afford a decent meal for the day. well i feel for them too, but is it my fault if i have two jobs and i have parents who can support me? i mean i also work hard. it's not like i just sit around and wait for munny to be given to me. i also exert effort and do my share. geez.it's just unfortunate for them to be in a more compromising situation.i dunno. sometimes i think island boy's so intelligent he forgot his sensibilities.
oh..such a hot day......
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it's what, almost 3 years after you posted this entry.
i go here sometimes and read. may 06, 2005 was probably tougher for me compared to right now but times like these i wish i can just go back to 2005 and live there again for a little bit.
i dunno why you never delete these things. but you're right. some things you couldn't undo just cuz you already deleted what you wrote about them
anyway i'll write here. it's so far back maybe you wouldn't read anymore. it's been so long ago anything that anyone can say about it is only just irrelevant.
what you were told about the laborers and the unemployed wasn't meant to make you guilty about what you have. maybe like all the rest of us you just needed to be more aware of the suffering going on around you.
i guess you're in a much better place right now compared to when you wrote this...
im reading some of this stuff again cuz i couldn't sleep (terrific hangover)...you really ought to delete them.
it's weird when i start feeling really bad and you're not at the heart of it. you know what i mean? does that ever happen to you sometimes?
you'll say that nothing will ever ever work for me like 2008 wouldn't work the way 2005 DID NOT work. because i'm all of the things that you thought and said i was so nothing will ever work.
i'm just saying i felt it was a little better back then.you know despite what you think it didn't feel to me like it was shabby.
unlike now where i go out and tell the truth and the story of my life and shit like that but in the middle of the night im up and awake thinking hell i don't need something like this in my life i feel like i could've avoided this altogether if i didn't have too much time in my hands and guess what that's exactly what i'll do first thing in the morning i'll just stop. i'm pretty good at that kind of thing.
what you have to understand is that if i could have stopped back then i would've and not wasted 5 years of your life. i regret it as much as you do but even years after the fact i still do not feel like i couldve done otherwise. things like that happen sometimes. you'll understand later on in life i guess.
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