Tuesday, November 03, 2009
waste not, want not...
How come we always seem to want the things we cannot have??? Argh. Boy Thursday you better be able to explain.
Monday, October 12, 2009
upping the stakes...
I just realized that the deal I made with myself isn't as clear cut as I would hope it to be... So lemme just say that twitter doesn't count in the deal. So as it is, I have til 12midnight tomorrow til we can truly say that it's a done deal. Yeah? Oh well.
If only he's bad looking and has bad sense of humor..if only he'd be full of himself..if only he'd be dumb...if only he can't speak well...if only oh if only...then things would have been so much easier.
If only he's bad looking and has bad sense of humor..if only he'd be full of himself..if only he'd be dumb...if only he can't speak well...if only oh if only...then things would have been so much easier.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
i would if i could...
thinking about B again makes my tummy go bonkers. wondering what he's up to and where he's at right now. B doesn't need me. but I'm hoping he would. eventually... would you rather be needed or wanted? if it's not too much, I'd like to be both, thank you very much.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
weather or not...sunshine after the storm...
I'd have to agree with my friend that the recent bout with Ondoy, er Ketsana gave most everyone the opportunity to see kindness in people...And I am so happy to have seen that too.
Two of my best buds in the world were greatly affected by the storm. Messing up their beautiful homes and damaging even their most prized possessions. But amidst all that rubble and the stench that the waters have left, there were so many invaluable life lessons to always look into for strength and inspiration.
I'm so lucky that we were spared. Somehow. I've already had my share of storms about a couple of months back. Like my friends, I wept, doubted, questioned and wept again. Felt helpless and disoriented at one point, and yet, I managed... Eventually, we'll all manage. With time the only thing left to be questioned...
Meanwhile, I pray for strength and for hope for all the people who have suffered and are continually suffering as I lay here resting comfortably in my room and blog away...
I pray for the day that they'll be able to smile again... the day that they begin rebuilding their lives... I pray for the day that they'll be out and about and ready to catch all the curve balls that life throws at them. I pray that I'd be witness to more acts of kindness and bravery and love...
I pray that everyone would pick up more than a thing or two from this harrowing experience. That this one will make them stronger, and so much better...
Two of my best buds in the world were greatly affected by the storm. Messing up their beautiful homes and damaging even their most prized possessions. But amidst all that rubble and the stench that the waters have left, there were so many invaluable life lessons to always look into for strength and inspiration.
I'm so lucky that we were spared. Somehow. I've already had my share of storms about a couple of months back. Like my friends, I wept, doubted, questioned and wept again. Felt helpless and disoriented at one point, and yet, I managed... Eventually, we'll all manage. With time the only thing left to be questioned...
Meanwhile, I pray for strength and for hope for all the people who have suffered and are continually suffering as I lay here resting comfortably in my room and blog away...
I pray for the day that they'll be able to smile again... the day that they begin rebuilding their lives... I pray for the day that they'll be out and about and ready to catch all the curve balls that life throws at them. I pray that I'd be witness to more acts of kindness and bravery and love...
I pray that everyone would pick up more than a thing or two from this harrowing experience. That this one will make them stronger, and so much better...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
an interesting mea culpa...
to my dear b, i guess it was pretty obvious on how much i truly and sincerely cared for you... i was constantly thinking about your safety. about your well-being. and im just so happy that youre doing perfectly fine.wheewwww...
i met someone b...but somehow i dont feel as happy as i was when i met you. okey, that's kinna crazy...but it's true.we managed to have fun together, yes- but why do i always end up thinking about you...really weird, if you ask me.
but i just wanna thank you. for being in my life. please do take care...
i met someone b...but somehow i dont feel as happy as i was when i met you. okey, that's kinna crazy...but it's true.we managed to have fun together, yes- but why do i always end up thinking about you...really weird, if you ask me.
but i just wanna thank you. for being in my life. please do take care...
w h y
why is it that when i attempt to take this person off my system, the more this person tries to initiate a conversation again? why? why does this person keep popping up at moments when im most vulnerable? why? why is this person just too cute to pass?grrrrr...i really hate this.i dont exactly hate this person, just the predicament i am in right now.. oh well.
Friday, September 25, 2009
the distance between us...
there are a couple of people i terribly miss right now. and then there's someone i'm trying not to miss.geez. and then i've met someone from quite a considerable distance and boy oh boy do i just wanna see this person right now. but the memory of this other person that i've been trying not miss just keeps on popping from time to time. no, i dont have quite an exciting love life, but rather a complicated one...and yet, i still continue to make it all too complicated for my own good.oh well...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
the wheel deal...
Eventhough I vowed to chronicle every single eventful thing that happened to me since I started blogging again, well, guess what? I'm about a week delayed in doing so... Yup, and I'm just cutting myself some slack for slacking (hahaha!) because I was too damn tired of going around.
First up, it was sort of prophetic when I said that I need em falkens already...well, last Wednesday, after my shift at Mellow-- a flat tire said hello to me just as I was about to go home after a day's work. I couldnt use my handy dandy compressor for the car because my lighter jack blew up a few months ago, not mention my battery has been acting up thanks to the effed up automatic radiator fan which has been eating much of my current. So, I ended up driving on flat til the nearest gas station to get some air. Thanks to Nel for looking out and helping me out with the air and all... So that was fixed...I was really meaning to have it checked the next morning but not quite because it just went flat again (looking even worse). I wasn't able to go to work because of this...I had to use my remaining Dunlop reserve just to be able to drive again. But it felt kinna weird. The entire day felt kinna jittery and weird..steering was such an effort and a half... True enough the next day, I made a scene along EDSA. My tire decided to blow up...much like what happened to me the first few months of driving. I shouldve trusted my gutt feeling at the first instance but I was hoping to be positive but nothing can avert the inevitable...hahaha.. Couldnt call my dad, I knew he'd freak out...Didnt even bother telling my mom cuz she already told me to get new tires when she learned of the flat tire... And so I called my brother. He came to the rescue after an hour and some minutes. A couple of MMDA folks were quite helpful. Assisting me in parking it on the sidewalk but also pressuring me with the thought and possibility of getting towed...What??? That's an easy 1,500 they're saying... I didnt bother introducing myself from the media as I'm thinking it might work to my disadvantage. I called Glenda for help just in case towing might actually happen. But thank god, my Kuya was able to get there in time. I called my dad finally and told us to go get them falkens in Caloocan. Just as I thought my brother would know how to get there, hahahaha, uhm, we got lost. And the weather wasn't any help at all as my a/c decided to join in the fun and conked out... what the!!! So while manually clearing up the windshield and dealing with the traffic plus the floodings, we ended up taking it straight to the Nlex and even paying toll to get to Valenzuela... hahaha.. As soon as we got to a more familiar route, we decided to have lunch first before trying to look for the place again. Finally figured where it was, I got them tires...whewwww! Thank god!!! I really needed new tires else I'd have to commute to MOA that weekend for a station assignment. That Celeteque gig got me to see Dindz as she had to cover for her station and also our good bud Katrina aka Sexy Teri for dinner in Makansutra at the Manila Ocean park...
Now sporting new treads, Mcquee is supposed to be aok already. But wait!!! My a/c is still effed up!!! After trying to have it fixed for days and days, as of writing, it's still a wreck. Awwww.. It's a good thing that payday was just a few days ago. If not, geez-- I'd be forced to borrow munny from my folks.
I'm supposed to have started with the new gym, but with all my Mcquee concerns, I'd have to put it on the backseat...
First up, it was sort of prophetic when I said that I need em falkens already...well, last Wednesday, after my shift at Mellow-- a flat tire said hello to me just as I was about to go home after a day's work. I couldnt use my handy dandy compressor for the car because my lighter jack blew up a few months ago, not mention my battery has been acting up thanks to the effed up automatic radiator fan which has been eating much of my current. So, I ended up driving on flat til the nearest gas station to get some air. Thanks to Nel for looking out and helping me out with the air and all... So that was fixed...I was really meaning to have it checked the next morning but not quite because it just went flat again (looking even worse). I wasn't able to go to work because of this...I had to use my remaining Dunlop reserve just to be able to drive again. But it felt kinna weird. The entire day felt kinna jittery and weird..steering was such an effort and a half... True enough the next day, I made a scene along EDSA. My tire decided to blow up...much like what happened to me the first few months of driving. I shouldve trusted my gutt feeling at the first instance but I was hoping to be positive but nothing can avert the inevitable...hahaha.. Couldnt call my dad, I knew he'd freak out...Didnt even bother telling my mom cuz she already told me to get new tires when she learned of the flat tire... And so I called my brother. He came to the rescue after an hour and some minutes. A couple of MMDA folks were quite helpful. Assisting me in parking it on the sidewalk but also pressuring me with the thought and possibility of getting towed...What??? That's an easy 1,500 they're saying... I didnt bother introducing myself from the media as I'm thinking it might work to my disadvantage. I called Glenda for help just in case towing might actually happen. But thank god, my Kuya was able to get there in time. I called my dad finally and told us to go get them falkens in Caloocan. Just as I thought my brother would know how to get there, hahahaha, uhm, we got lost. And the weather wasn't any help at all as my a/c decided to join in the fun and conked out... what the!!! So while manually clearing up the windshield and dealing with the traffic plus the floodings, we ended up taking it straight to the Nlex and even paying toll to get to Valenzuela... hahaha.. As soon as we got to a more familiar route, we decided to have lunch first before trying to look for the place again. Finally figured where it was, I got them tires...whewwww! Thank god!!! I really needed new tires else I'd have to commute to MOA that weekend for a station assignment. That Celeteque gig got me to see Dindz as she had to cover for her station and also our good bud Katrina aka Sexy Teri for dinner in Makansutra at the Manila Ocean park...
Now sporting new treads, Mcquee is supposed to be aok already. But wait!!! My a/c is still effed up!!! After trying to have it fixed for days and days, as of writing, it's still a wreck. Awwww.. It's a good thing that payday was just a few days ago. If not, geez-- I'd be forced to borrow munny from my folks.
I'm supposed to have started with the new gym, but with all my Mcquee concerns, I'd have to put it on the backseat...
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
dress to the ninth?
Have special plans this 09/09/09?
Everyone from brides and grooms to movie studio execs are celebrating the upcoming calendrical anomaly in their own way.
In Florida, at least one county clerk's office is offering a one-day wedding special for $99.99. The rarity of this Sept. 9 hasn't been lost on the creators of the iPod, who have moved their traditional Tuesday release day to Wednesday to take advantage of the special date. Focus Features is releasing their new film "9," an animated tale about the apocalypse, on the 9th.
Not only does the date look good in marketing promotions, but it also represents the last set of repeating, single-digit dates that we'll see for almost a century (until January 1, 2101), or a millennium (mark your calendars for January 1, 3001), depending on how you want to count it.
Though technically there's nothing special about the symmetrical date, some concerned with the history and meaning of numbers ascribe powerful significance to 09/09/09.
For cultures in which the number nine is lucky, Sept. 9 is anticipated - while others might see the date as an ominous warning.
Math magic
Modern numerologists - who operate outside the realm of real science - believe that mystical significance or vibrations can be assigned to each numeral one through nine, and different combinations of the digits produce tangible results in life depending on their application.
As the final numeral, the number nine holds special rank. It is associated with forgiveness, compassion and success on the positive side as well as arrogance and self-righteousness on the negative, according to numerologists.
Though usually discredited as bogus, numerologists do have a famous predecessor to look to. Pythagoras, the Greek mathematician and father of the famous theorem, is also credited with popularizing numerology in ancient times.
"Pythagoras most of all seems to have honored and advanced the study concerned with numbers, having taken it away from the use of merchants and likening all things to numbers," wrote Aristoxenus, an ancient Greek historian, in the 4th century B.C.
As part of his obsession with numbers both mathematically and divine, and like many mathematicians before and since, Pythagoras noted that nine in particular had many unique properties.
Any grade-schooler could tell you, for example, that the sum of the two-digits resulting from nine multiplied by any other single-digit number will equal nine. So 9x3=27, and 2+7=9.
Multiply nine by any two, three or four-digit number and the sums of those will also break down to nine. For example: 9x62 = 558; 5+5+8=18; 1+8=9.
Sept. 9 also happens to be the 252nd day of the year (2 + 5 +2)...
Loving 9
Both China and Japan have strong feelings about the number nine. Those feelings just happen to be on opposite ends of the spectrum.
The Chinese pulled out all the stops to celebrate their lucky number eight during last year's Summer Olympics, ringing the games in at 8 p.m. on 08/08/08. What many might not realize is that nine comes in second on their list of auspicious digits and is associated with long life, due to how similar its pronunciation is to the local word for long-lasting (eight sounds like wealth).
Historically, ancient Chinese emperors associated themselves closely with the number nine, which appeared prominently in architecture and royal dress, often in the form of nine fearsome dragons. The imperial dynasties were so convinced of the power of the number nine that the palace complex at Beijing's Forbidden City is rumored to have been built with 9,999 rooms.
Japanese emperors would have never worn a robe with nine dragons, however.
In Japanese, the word for nine is a homophone for the word for suffering, so the number is considered highly unlucky - second only to four, which sounds like death.
Many Japanese will go so far as to avoid room numbers including nine at hotels or hospitals, if the building planners haven't already eliminated them altogether.
and the holes are a plenty...
Hating the patches of asphalt which now have become mere dirt exposing holes and holes...and they are a plenty... Dodge em at all cost...else, suffer the consequences!!! I'm pushing my current treads to the test... but the Falkens await. I'm just crossing my fingers they wouldn't blow out before the new set takes over...
Also needing fresh supply of freon...and I really need to have my rear heads replaced. Those are just a few of things I need to do for Mcquee. Still gathering up enough moolah to kick it... Wish me luck!!!
Also needing fresh supply of freon...and I really need to have my rear heads replaced. Those are just a few of things I need to do for Mcquee. Still gathering up enough moolah to kick it... Wish me luck!!!
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
the ballad of the rain...
I've always loved the rain... It's prolly the only force of nature I could truly say I enjoy. It's just amazing...I'm in awe. But driving can be pretty effing difficult. Not to mention, people around make it hard for you to drive safely and comfortably. Wouldn't go as far as blaming them for tryna keep it steady for safety reasons but what I hate really are effed up ballsy drivers who put you at risk. It is quite expected from bus drivers, but for private cars? Geez. Their licenses should be revoked. They've to go back to school and be rehab'd. And I don't really care if they drive a fancier car than I do, that certainly doesn't give them the right to put you in harm's way. Ack... I've already have enough potholes to deal with and then more assholes to reckon with. Argh!
I wish I had a driver though. But I have to say, in this day and age, sometimes, it's not really practical and quite risky as well. Just late this morning, a family friend's driver just molested and raped one of their househelps. She went to us because it was my mom who recommended her to my tita. Unknowingly, the ugly driver of my tita's son, was already molesting her and finally got what he wanted yesterday when he got the opportunity to do so. The poor girl was looking pretty startled, obviously clueless on what she should do, I suppose for fear that nobody would believe her. Actually, my mom didnt believe her until one of our helps backed up her story. Gawd. I wish her well and hope that justice would be served especially because I heard that ugly driver was quite annoying and full of himself despite the ugliness..yuckkk!!! I really hate it when people take advantage of other people and actually think they can get away with it. Geez. Take it from Milli Vanilli, though fake, they made sense when they told us to blame it on the rain...
I wish I had a driver though. But I have to say, in this day and age, sometimes, it's not really practical and quite risky as well. Just late this morning, a family friend's driver just molested and raped one of their househelps. She went to us because it was my mom who recommended her to my tita. Unknowingly, the ugly driver of my tita's son, was already molesting her and finally got what he wanted yesterday when he got the opportunity to do so. The poor girl was looking pretty startled, obviously clueless on what she should do, I suppose for fear that nobody would believe her. Actually, my mom didnt believe her until one of our helps backed up her story. Gawd. I wish her well and hope that justice would be served especially because I heard that ugly driver was quite annoying and full of himself despite the ugliness..yuckkk!!! I really hate it when people take advantage of other people and actually think they can get away with it. Geez. Take it from Milli Vanilli, though fake, they made sense when they told us to blame it on the rain...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
absence makes the heart go ...
I've been on blogging hiatus for far too long. And although so much has happened, I just didn't feel like chronicling them down like I used to.
I've made several attempts to come back but like so many other things that I just lost interest in, I feel bad that this had to be one of them. But hey, I'm back...aren't I?
So what's been happening? I'm still tryna organize my life. Tryna strike a balance between my social life and my family life-- nope I didn't get married. Just taking care of my folks and our estate. Career is in full swing, I'd like to think. I've beautifully settled in my new home. And I have managed to fix my "faux consultancy" sked at trapik; sticking to the compromise and just tryna keep away from any eyebrow raising comments from the girl who thinks highly of herself. I'm tryna be a good employee for as long as I can. I just hope I'll be able to pull through...I'm giving it my best effort whilst crossing my fingers. (hahahaha!) I've also been busy tryna keep my purchasing gusto at bay... Surprisingly, I have been successful in doing this. And I'm truly proud of myself for doing so. One more thing that I should cross out on my to do list is to save munny. I have to go banking again, like I used to. Yes, I do bank a lot these days but it's mostly not my own munny. And not really saving up. But I must say, I handle other people's munny so much better than mine...
I'm tryna renew my passion for health. I'm tryna give up on a lot of things. And by god, it's gonna take a lot of myself to get used to it...
But we'll see. I'm throwing in a lot of prayer in all my endeavors. I'm gonna need a lot of help...any help I can get.
I've made several attempts to come back but like so many other things that I just lost interest in, I feel bad that this had to be one of them. But hey, I'm back...aren't I?
So what's been happening? I'm still tryna organize my life. Tryna strike a balance between my social life and my family life-- nope I didn't get married. Just taking care of my folks and our estate. Career is in full swing, I'd like to think. I've beautifully settled in my new home. And I have managed to fix my "faux consultancy" sked at trapik; sticking to the compromise and just tryna keep away from any eyebrow raising comments from the girl who thinks highly of herself. I'm tryna be a good employee for as long as I can. I just hope I'll be able to pull through...I'm giving it my best effort whilst crossing my fingers. (hahahaha!) I've also been busy tryna keep my purchasing gusto at bay... Surprisingly, I have been successful in doing this. And I'm truly proud of myself for doing so. One more thing that I should cross out on my to do list is to save munny. I have to go banking again, like I used to. Yes, I do bank a lot these days but it's mostly not my own munny. And not really saving up. But I must say, I handle other people's munny so much better than mine...
I'm tryna renew my passion for health. I'm tryna give up on a lot of things. And by god, it's gonna take a lot of myself to get used to it...
But we'll see. I'm throwing in a lot of prayer in all my endeavors. I'm gonna need a lot of help...any help I can get.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
happy to be mellow...
I've found a new home in a new frequency. And perhaps it was destiny playing me... with my sudden departure from the neighborhood, plus an unscheduled trip to Singapore, my sisters flying back home - life has just been surprising me at every given turn... boy oh boy!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
welcome to the jungle...
I was just reading the last entry. And boy oh boy...so many things have transpired in such short a time...
I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.
But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.
And if I should say anything good about my stay at that particular station, it would have to be the fact that I've learned to believe in myself more. I've learned to manage my doubts. I finally relearned to trust my instincts. And to leave something for myself. At the end of the day, it's just me and only me.
I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.
I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.
But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.
And if I should say anything good about my stay at that particular station, it would have to be the fact that I've learned to believe in myself more. I've learned to manage my doubts. I finally relearned to trust my instincts. And to leave something for myself. At the end of the day, it's just me and only me.
I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
welcome to the jungle...
I was just reading the last entry. And boy oh boy...so many things have transpired in such short a time...
I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.
But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.
But there's always something good that came out from my stay there... I learned to trust myself better. I've learned that I still had the knack for writing. And I have become more empowered.
I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.
I had a blast the entire love month. I felt as if I've experienced love in its many facets and forms. When I quit my last stint for a radio station, I was truly depressed. But all my friends came to the rescue. Even my mom brought comfort in saying that they can keep their money and that I would be better off without them...hahahaha. She somehow noticed how I've been really working hard to prepare everything for my own show. There were sleepless nights; there were cranky times.
But you know--I felt the love around me. I had wonderful friends surrounding me; a wonderful family who completely supports me... People believing in what I can do and what I have accomplished. People who are even so much better than I was and yet still had room to acknowledge what I had. Things I never really felt during my stay in that little neighborhood. I've made some great friends there as well. The small people. But they were genuinely good. And I have just proven that when I bumped into one at the same building I'm currently working right now. Even if he didn't say much to me back then, I felt that he truly respected and accepted me in the brood before.
But there's always something good that came out from my stay there... I learned to trust myself better. I've learned that I still had the knack for writing. And I have become more empowered.
I just realized I never really needed Feng Shui to guide me. I just needed friends and that conviction to move on and enjoy life for what its worth.
Monday, February 16, 2009
handing in the inevitable...
I'm not sure if it was the smartest thing to do, but it sure felt like it was the right thing to do...
I wrote off my so called passion. I tendered my resignation from the station I thought would be nice enough to be my home. But like everybody else, we are bound to make mistakes. And it's something I'd want to believe will make me stronger.
I so love this job but if it would mean losing myself in the process, I feel that this is the best thing that I could ever do for myself at this point.
Nobody dies from a heartbreak, right? But I'd rather be heartbroken than be truly miserable like most people there. I mean, come on, do I honestly think that it was a perfect world out there? Each one has their own gripe about each other, which if I may say, am not so used to. And I don't have any plans of getting used to it, thank you very much! However, I feel sorry for them. I feel that the station has a lot of potential. Only and if only people there would learn to acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses and work for a common goal. Which is a no-brainer really, but I keep on forgetting that we're talking egos as well...
But who am I to tell these people what to do. Who am I to even share my sentiments about the industry. I'm sure they wouldn't take it from someone like me. Sure I graduated from UP ..sure I took Broadcast Communication. Sure I auditioned for my first job and didn't have to kiss any one's ass in the process... Sure I was pretty consistent in my performance in whatever program format I had to adhere to... sure I had a stint on local tv... Gosh...
But those are things of the past...and so is my stint in that neighborhood. I just hope that I get to keep something. Like the friendships. But even that, I begin to doubt. And that's pretty crazy, right? It would feel really awkward, really strange at times. I even opted not to report for them anymore. It just feels a little off. I'd much rather steer clear than create any more ripples or what-not.
I can't wait for the day that I'd laugh this one out if and when I tell about my story there. In the meantime, I was told that it's okey to feel bad. I have every right to mourn at this point. There's no telling if I could still go back to radio. And even if I did, would I have enough passion to fight for it?
In any case, I don't wanna burn bridges. There is a strong possibility that I'd be going back...
I wrote off my so called passion. I tendered my resignation from the station I thought would be nice enough to be my home. But like everybody else, we are bound to make mistakes. And it's something I'd want to believe will make me stronger.
I so love this job but if it would mean losing myself in the process, I feel that this is the best thing that I could ever do for myself at this point.
Nobody dies from a heartbreak, right? But I'd rather be heartbroken than be truly miserable like most people there. I mean, come on, do I honestly think that it was a perfect world out there? Each one has their own gripe about each other, which if I may say, am not so used to. And I don't have any plans of getting used to it, thank you very much! However, I feel sorry for them. I feel that the station has a lot of potential. Only and if only people there would learn to acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses and work for a common goal. Which is a no-brainer really, but I keep on forgetting that we're talking egos as well...
But who am I to tell these people what to do. Who am I to even share my sentiments about the industry. I'm sure they wouldn't take it from someone like me. Sure I graduated from UP ..sure I took Broadcast Communication. Sure I auditioned for my first job and didn't have to kiss any one's ass in the process... Sure I was pretty consistent in my performance in whatever program format I had to adhere to... sure I had a stint on local tv... Gosh...
But those are things of the past...and so is my stint in that neighborhood. I just hope that I get to keep something. Like the friendships. But even that, I begin to doubt. And that's pretty crazy, right? It would feel really awkward, really strange at times. I even opted not to report for them anymore. It just feels a little off. I'd much rather steer clear than create any more ripples or what-not.
I can't wait for the day that I'd laugh this one out if and when I tell about my story there. In the meantime, I was told that it's okey to feel bad. I have every right to mourn at this point. There's no telling if I could still go back to radio. And even if I did, would I have enough passion to fight for it?
In any case, I don't wanna burn bridges. There is a strong possibility that I'd be going back...
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